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That settles it for me. They are always dressed in decent clothing, and the same is expected of their date. Because Utah mormons are waayyy different than mormons everywhere else. She may never join the join the church. Maybe things would be have different if I had been older or if I had not been so fragile. And their feelings about your marriage are their businessвnot yours.
She might not be keeping the Word of Wisdom, living according to the Law of Chastity, or attending church regularly. Ask questions, try to find out as much as you can. If my husband and I had been dating during any of this, it would not have lasted long a few weeks maximum. I don't mind staying home because I understand he's tired. BYU was once the perfect place to find a great young woman and get married. Topics like race and polygamy have been "adequately" explained away, so I don't think we'd get anywhere discussing those things.